The quality-quantity paradox

Quality vs Quantity

Last week I asked the blog readers community if they focus on having quantity or quality of tandas in their milonga experience. After gathering some answers a pattern started to emerge. People tend to focus on quantity in their first years and then on quality. To me, this makes perfect sense. Have a look at how babies behave. They experience the world with all their senses and often try to take whatever they find in front of them and taste it. They don’t know what is edible or not, they don’t know what is harmful and what is healthy. They don’t know what tastes good and what tastes bad. You need to try and try again until you start developing a taste. Without tasting as much as possible you can’t say if you like a specific food or not.

And this doesn’t stop in childhood. Whenever you are in a new environment with new possibilities you need to test them out, to experience them to be able and say whether you like something or not. When I first came to Frankfurt we visited restaurants of different cuisines every week. Six years later, we have now not only identified our favourite cuisines but we even have favourite restaurants. Going through the quantity phase is thus necessary to develop a taste and getting as many experiences as possible is crucial to our development.

The same stands also for Tango. That is why beginner and intermediate dancers will want to dance every Tanda. That is also why leaders focus on steps in their first years. They need to try different steps, taste them, and experience them in different embraces to filter through them and decide what is best fitted for them. What makes them feel good. We all tell beginners that you don’t need to do fancy steps and that the embrace and focusing on the music and the partner is the key but if we don’t let them experience this they will never understand the difference and they will never be able to make a well-informed decision. Also, it is crucial to have these experiences as quickly as possible. When you are new to the field and do not have a taste yet. If you develop a taste for something it is very difficult to change it.

The mismatch

When it comes to dancing with beginners there is a mismatch in our communities. It is more likely to see advanced leaders dancing with new followers rather than advanced followers dancing with new leaders. Technically the reason is simple. A leader has much more initiative and room for adjustment when it comes to dancing with a beginner to make it through the tanda. They can adjust the embrace, the vocabulary, the pace and musical expression to make it easier for a follower to follow. On the other hand, it is much more difficult for followers to adjust if the leader has poor technique and does not accommodate her comfort needs and musical expression wishes. Moreover, many followers will tell you that they don’t like to dance with beginner leaders because they focus too much on the steps. As a follower, you have much less initiative to influence the vocabulary and the way your leader will dance with you especially when it comes to beginners who have not yet dived into understanding the signals of their partner and incorporating them in their dance.

This means that beginner followers are much more likely to experience quality tandas early in their dancing life while on the other hand, it might take significantly more time for a beginner leader to do so. That is one of the reasons why you often see beginner followers progressing fast and leaders struggling. Followers experience a bigger variety of dances early enough in their development to develop a good taste while leaders might be stuck with “junk food” for long until they finally experience some quality tandas. If up to that time their taste is formed and they think “junk food” is the best in the world a quality tanda will not change their mind. It will take a significantly bigger amount of quality to form a better taste. That is why many leaders are stuck forever in this perpetual beginner stage where their only concern is quantity both in steps and in tandas danced. Eventually, they reach a point where their appetite cannot be satisfied and they try other ways.

The predicament

Coming back to the followers complain about the beginner leaders, we can see a paradox. Advanced followers want something from beginner leaders which they deny them. They restrict their quality experiences and they request from them to develop a taste for quality. It’s not an easy feat for a leader to see through this. This leads to beginner leaders mostly dancing with their peers and having a heard time breaking through to higher-level dancers.

But what about beginner followers? Do they come in Tango with good taste? Do they know what they like in the dance? Also not. However, since it is easier for an advanced leader to dance with a beginner follower it is much easier for a beginner follower to experience quality dancing early in their dancing life and therefore it is much easier for them to compare the different experiences and from a taste for quality.

All this leaves us with the following situation. Beginner leaders are stranded on their early stages striving for quantity, without having many opportunities to experience quality because it is restricted from them, and followers advance and develop a taste which leaves their peers behind. We deny quality from beginner leaders yet we require it from them. We deny them quality and push them towards an endless quest for quantity.

No wonder that you see so many leaders stuck at lower levels and no wonder why women complain that there are not enough good leaders.

The path to quality is through quantity

What we need to understand is that if we want quality leaders we need first to help them go through the quantity phase fast. The sooner and the more they will experience quality tandas the faster they will progress and strive for it. The more they will stay on the quantity phase the more possible it is to never leave it.

The problem seems like a chicken and egg problem. It is a vicious cycle. Unless we realize that we contribute to this behaviour with our stance we will not break it.

So… how can we change that?

Give new leaders a taste of quality as fast as possible. Let them dance with experienced followers as long as they have developed some basic vocabulary and technique. It doesn’t need to be perfect. The sooner advanced followers intervene in the leader’s development the sooner they will get out of their quantity phase and become quality leaders. Moreover, new leaders will be much more open to feedback and will respect it when they know it comes from an experienced partner. The more they progress the more the Dunning Kruger effect will lock them up and it will be harder to accept anyone’s feedback.

But the burden of education to new leaders doesn’t fall all on the followers’ shoulders. As a leader, if you are an advanced one, consider what is the quality you bring to your dance. Think that the quality you bring will be an example for new leaders. Are you dancing for your partner and for connection etc.?  Then be aware that although you are not dancing for an audience you are being watched (even when you do not dance). As much as you think that nobody pays attention there are people who are. Beginner leaders will look at you as a role model. Whether you accept it or not they will try to meet you in your quality. So what is the quality you bring to the dance? If it is fancy steps, complex figures and dancing without paying attention to the music then this is what new leaders will want to match. But isn’t this what most followers complain about? So what kind of mixed signal is this? It’s like you tell your child to not smoke but you smoke 2 packs per day. Which one do you think they will follow your example or your advice?

Let’s Co-Create

You don’t learn Tango in the class

Now many people will support that you learn Tango in class and one must take classes and after having enough training in classes they can go to a milonga. But is it really like that? Do you learn in the class how to behave in a milonga? Do you learn how to handle rejection? How to dance with respect to your partner and fellow couples on the floor? Even if your teacher tells you about all this, it is not until you finally experience it first person that you start learning it. A child who nobody talks to it will never learn to speak. We are the same in Tango. Without social interaction especially between different-level dancers and without the right role models to follow we are not going to grow as mature quality Tango dancers.

One can also support that an advanced follower can help beginner leaders by dancing with them in the class. That is true to some extent. A class or a practica is a good place to give a new leader a taste of the quality you are looking for as a follower. But if it is not accompanied by dancing in the milonga then it sends again mixed signals. It’s like telling them “I want this from you”, when you are in a class, but then in the real world when they are ready to give you what you are looking for you just ignore them.

In the end, we need to understand that the problem I describe is not a rant against advanced followers. It is food for thought for the whole community. None of the problems discussed in this or any other post is one group’s problem only. It is never the fault of the leaders or the followers alone. It is never the fault of men or women only. It is the fault of the community as a whole. When we try to shift the blame from our side to the other, then we are doing more harm than good to the community. So, if you want a better community with more leaders sticking to it. Accept that they will behave like kids in the beginning and show them by your example the quality we all look for in Tango so they develop a good taste as early as possible. Otherwise, you can continue complaining and wonder why nobody does anything.

Tonight’s Goodnight Tango

Tonight’s Goodnight Tango tells the story of a man who because of the quantity of drinks, friends and kisses that money and wealth brought to his path he lost the quality of his loved one. The video is from a performance by a couple that brings this quality we all seek in every little move they make. Sometimes, the true wealth in Tango isn’t hidden in countless tandas, partners and steps but is right there… in this one Tanda… this one time… with this one person… that you will never forget. I wish you all this experience!

So how about you? Have you found the quality tandas we all want to have? Are you in your first steps? Do you have any role models? What do you like about them? Are you an experienced dancer? Have you ever thought that people look up to like as a role model? do you help new dancers find out the quality you want to get in the dance? How do you do it?

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