She was an amazing dancer when I started dancing. I always wanted to dance with her in a milonga… and one day… in one of the local milongas… I… a beginner with just a year of lessons behind… managed to do a cabeceo to her, and she accepted me. She just saw me and accepted me simply because I asked it… without second thoughts, without judgments, without expectations. She was and still is one of the kindest people in the community, and from then on, we would dance once in a while. I still remember how I felt every time we danced. Years passed by. Due to personal reasons, some people could devote more and others less time to their tango evolution. After all, we all do have lives beyond Tango, and for some of us… these lives might be hard and make it more difficult for us to progress on our tango. After all, it’s not our job. Some others might just be fed up or satisfied with their dance, so they might have stopped evolving.
In this specific case, it probably happened that I progressed a bit quicker. But… who cares? To me… even now… she is the kind, advanced dancer who accepted me as a beginner and made me feel that there is more to Tango than the steps, the levels, the exercises, etc. There are people with personalities, backgrounds, and stories that deserve attention, affection, care, respect, and all these emotions one person can give to another through an embrace. Whenever I see her in a milonga, I try to invite her even if I sometimes realize I might not enjoy the dance as much as I did some years ago as a beginner. I do this just because I know she wants it as much as I needed her acceptance and embrace in my first steps.
During the same beginner period, there was also another advanced dancer. She still is very good. I always wanted to dance with her as well and I tried several times… maybe I got lucky once… maybe I didn’t… honestly I don’t remember. In any case, for me, it feels like I never danced with her. If we did dance… I believe I would remember it much better but… I don’t have any tandas to remember with her… not like the ones I remember from the previous dancer I was describing. Years passed by and as I said, I evolved to the point where I can now enjoy and share my emotions through dance. I had a fair amount of amazing… memorable tandas so far and I know I can have a good time with my partners when I dance. I don’t know if she would now accept an invitation… but you know what? I don’t care! I lost interest. I have discovered so many beautiful people out there, who saw me and accepted me for what I was, without second thoughts, without judgments, without expectations, that I don’t need her anymore to see and accept me. Is it revenge?… Is it destiny?… Is it a loss?… and for whom? I don’t know… and I don’t need to find out any more.
Tonight’s Goodnight Tango
All I know is that in this life… you end up getting what you give. So I try to give what I want to get. I try to give without second thoughts, without judgments, and without expectation for a return. I try to give even if sometimes… giving isn’t so enjoyable for me. Tonight’s Goodnight Tango is not one but two songs. One for each of the two stories. I believe you will understand the connections.