Rejections or losses?

Tonight’s Goodnight Tango

Tonight’s Goodnight Tango is a song with a bittersweet story behind it. Written by Ramon Sixto Rios, it describes his love for Mercedes Strickler Kahlow. A love that was rejected when he asked her to marry him. He went on with his life… married another woman and when he was widowed some decades later he connected again with Merceditas, who once again refused to marry him. They remained in contact until he passed away and bequeathed to her the rights to the song. She died at the age of 84 saying that God left her to live so long as a punishment for her behavior towards him.

Rejection

In our tango journeys, we often experience rejection. Dancers that we would like to dance with and never respond to our cabeceo… dancers who might have danced with them once and then they seem to constantly ignore us thereafter… and so many more stories of rejection. I have often dealt with this kind of behavior myself and I still do. Until recently, I was sometimes trying to find a reason… an answer to why is this happening. But then, I realized it doesn’t really matter.

It happens to everyone (I guess). In life, there are things you can control and things you can’t. Certainly, you can’t control other people’s feelings and opinions about you. So why try to affect something that is out of your control? What you can do is just walk your own path… study… practice… learn… dance… enjoy… have fun… grow… and maybe sometimes… your constantly changing self might cross paths with the person who was rejecting you.

Losses

And what happens if they don’t? (one might ask)

Well… do you really care? I mean… if you just focus on your path… who knows what other paths it will be crossed with?… Let yourself open to surprises and let the flow take you. The more you fixate on specific dancers… the more you might lose other opportunities for fun and growth… the more you will be disappointed… and in the end, the less you will probably enjoy your goal if you ever succeed in it.

And what if it never ever happens?…

Well… see it this way… why is this your problem?… It is actually their problem… their perception… their opinion… their view… that hinders them from discovering you… and in the end…. it is their loss… their loss of an opportunity to cross paths with yet another dancer… their loss to discover a different experience… their loss… and maybe their punishment (like Merceditas’)… not yours! Because during all this time… you were open, happy, and at least you had a great time walking your way!

How about you? How do you handle rejections? Do they bother you? Do you see them as your problem? Or do you see them as not your problem? Let me know with a comment below, an email, or a PM on Facebook… oh… and if you liked it… don’t forget to share it with your friends.