The Ring, the Gollum and… your Tango!

You’ve probably seen the “My Taaaango” T-shirts with Gollum clutching the Ring like it’s the most precious thing in the world. Did you find it funny? I hope so. But have you ever wondered what message it hides about how Tango, like the Ring in The Lord of the Rings, can take over your identity if you’re not careful? How can it turn you from Sméagol to Gollum?

Let me explain.

The shadows we hide

I recently watched a video on Charisma on Command that hit me hard. It was about the “shadow” part of our personality. The feelings we’re taught to suppress growing up. Anger, pride, neediness, shame… all the stuff we’re told is “too much” or “not acceptable.” So we bury it. But it doesn’t go away.

That shadow still lives inside us. And one day, it leaks out—sometimes as a crisis, sometimes as a quiet, persistent frustration. Or, sometimes… You can express it in your dance.

Years ago, I wrote about how Tango can be a tool for bringing this hidden side to light. The shadow moves through your body in ways words can’t touch. It’s beautiful. It’s messy. It’s real.

But here’s the twist: that same power can also twist you, just like the Ring did to Sméagol.

From Sméagol to Gollum

In Tolkien’s story, Sméagol was a simple creature, curious, a little greedy, but mostly harmless. Then he found the Ring. And in a split second, he killed his friend to keep it.

That’s how it starts.

The Ring didn’t turn Sméagol evil. It just amplified what was already buried inside him… envy, loneliness, shame. Over time, it changed him. He hid in the mountains. Isolated. Obsessing over the Ring. Talking to it. Talking to himself. Sméagol split in two. The part that still remembered who he was… and the part that only lived to protect the Ring.

That’s how Gollum was born.

And this is where it gets uncomfortable: Tango can be your Ring.

It can amplify what’s good in you… your passion, your sensitivity, your depth. But if you’re dancing to hide your shame, to chase approval, to prove something to yourself or others, then that same power can twist you.

You might disappear into technique, obsess over steps, roles, status, or levels. You might use Tango to escape from the world, rather than connecting to it. From the outside, you’re dancing. But inside, you’re hanging on to your own “precious.”

Are you becoming a Gollum?

The thing is, even Gollum had moments, glimpses, when Sméagol came back. A chance to choose connection. A chance to be seen and loved, even for a second. But the fear always won.

So here’s the question… Be honest:
Are you dancing to express yourself, or to escape yourself?

It’s easy to get lost in the rules, the roles, the levels, etc.
It’s easy to become the master of steps but a stranger to your own body.
It’s easy to hang on to Tango like Gollum hung on to the Ring, not because it frees you, but because it numbs the truth.

Tango is not your identity. It’s a mirror. And sometimes, it shows you what you don’t want to see.

Some carry the Ring like Gollum.
Others carry it like Frodo.
And some walk beside the ones who are struggling, like Sam.
But that’s a story for another post.

Tonight’s Goodnight Tango

Tonight’s Goodnight Tango is about a man who lost himself between drink, friends and kisses. A man who, like Gollum, has a moment of reflection, realising the lost opportunity for real love that he threw away. Personally, I still sometimes feel like a Gollum comes up in my dance… but as soon as I realise it, I am trying to send it away.

But.. how about you?
Next time you dance, ask yourself:
Am I connecting, or controlling?
Am I showing myself, or hiding?

What part of you are you still afraid to bring into the dance?
Drop a comment… or keep it to yourself.
But don’t lie to yourself.

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