Am I lazy?

The industry of self-help

In my YouTube stream, for some time, I started seeing suggestions about videos around self-improvement and self-help domains. There is a ton of content out there from coaches of all kinds promising to help you improve your health, your productivity, your career, your relationship… you name it. There is a ton of advice out there, not just in videos but in all kinds of forms. Books, courses, conferences etc.

Recently, however, I bumped into a very interesting video exactly about all this industry of self-help and continuous never-ending self-improvement. One of the major points in this self-improvement mentality is that if you choose to follow it you are implicitly accepting that you need improvement. That you are not good enough. If you constantly see yourself as not good enough, you will constantly seek improvement. Granted, sometimes you will indeed see this improvement. But is it always necessary? Do you always need to improve? Why? For what reason? To be happier? To be more efficient at work? To be healthier? Aren’t you already happy enough?… efficient enough?… healthy enough?

Tango improvement

“But he doesn’t want to go to any classes or seminars” she complained about another partner who was refusing to take any classes or seminars.  She mentioned this as a negative thing. However, the person she was referring to was a pretty good tango leader in the community. I mean I haven’t seen anyone dancing with him and not liking it. His vocabulary might have been limited but you already know my opinion on what vocabulary actually is in Tango.

The tango vocabulary illusion

Months later, I tend to find myself in a similar position. I mean, a couple of years ago, I would be thrilled and excited to follow seminars with such and such teachers but today whenever I see a visiting teacher couple, I always find myself looking at the subjects and thinking… “doesn’t sound really exciting”. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t mean to say that I know everything and I don’t think there is anything left to learn. On the contrary, I still feel like a beginner and I am sure there is a ton of information and classes and workshops out there from which I could get something.  It’s just that I am in a place where I enjoy my dances, I do get pleasure regardless of who I am dancing with and to be honest I am not sure which direction I should focus next. All different directions at the moment feel like too much effort without a clear benefit. Without a motivation.

Comparing this to myself 4 years ago, when I first started joining seminars on musicality, I remember myself being always excited and looking forward to whatever new things I would learn in the next seminar. I was joining because I had a purpose… a motivation… and I was able to see a clear result out of it.

Improve at your pace

I am an advocate of self-improvement myself too. I mean you do need to improve your dance to express yourself better, to enjoy more etc. If you do feel like you miss something then yes… Go for it. Learn, read, take classes and improve. But what if you are already in a good place with your dance? Why obsess and struggle for improvement if you already enjoy your dances?  Why not just sit, relax and enjoy the moment? Isn’t that the purpose of dancing?

We live in a world where everything runs fast and we are fed with expectations of becoming a better version of ourselves. Always and forever. Do we ever stop to see who we really are now? If self-improvement is a mountain climb… do we ever stop to enjoy the view from the place we already reached or are we forced to always look towards the top? What if you will never reach that top? Are you really aiming for the top? Why shouldn’t you feel good about the journey you did so far? Why not treat yourself, take some pauses on the way up and reflect? Maybe you don’t want to go any further. Maybe you don’t see the point now. Maybe you discovered a new path. Who knows?

Take your time. Don’t obsess… and never forget to treat yourself and enjoy your dance!!!

Dance like there is no tomorrow!

Am I lazy?

The problem with constant self-improvement is not only that you don’t take time to enjoy your wins and achievements. The problem is that our societies started valuing this self-improvement attitude so much that it has become an integral part of our lives and whenever someone says “I am not doing anything to improve myself” people automatically label them as lazy. People started seeing this state of stillness as a bad thing. As something that you should avoid. So I often wonder myself… Am I really lazy?

Well yes. If you think I am lazy because I don’t want to take more classes (at least for now)… yes! I am lazy! I am as lazy as a sloth! And you know what? I don’t f#$&_ing care about it! Because this is who I am at the moment. I am a hopeless lazy dancer who feels so good when I dance that I don’t want to “climb” anymore. I just want to enjoy the view! Leave me alone on my bench and continue your path to the top. We’ll catch up later.

Next time you think someone is lazy. Think again. When was the last time you took a break to enjoy your achievements without thinking of the top? When was the last time you felt you were already at the top of the mountain? When was the last time you felt satisfied… complete… content with your dance? If you can’t remember…. maybe it’s time to hit the pause button for some time before it’s too late.

Tonight’s Goodnight Tango

Tonight’s Goodnight Tango is not one but two songs inviting us to dance… to party! They are played back-to-back from two different orchestras in one of the most lively festival videos I have ever seen. The atmosphere looks like what happens when rock meets tango! Even if you don’t know Tango… Even if you don’t know a single step… You can’t resist the temptation to stand up from your couch and start jumping up and down like you are part of this crowd! So… What are you waiting for?… Hit play, get up and DANCE! Enjoy it! Live it!

So how about you? Where are you on your tango journey? Do you always look towards the top and try to improve? Do you ever stop and enjoy your time? Do you think that I am lazy? Do you think that people who stop improving are lazy? Let me know.

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