The false promise of self-improvement

Me v2.0

Become the best version of yourself.
Invest in yourself. You are your greatest asset.
You don’t need anyone else to be whole.

You have probably seen or heard these, or similar, motivational messages encouraging self-improvement. From physical to psychological and social aspects of life, there is no shortage of content pushing us to upgrade ourselves.

Tango is not immune to this culture. Many dancers, myself included, approach Tango as a tool for self-improvement. We work on technique, musicality, posture, and presence. But how true is the promise behind this effort?

To explore this, let’s take a small detour.

Job market and Tango market

One of the domains where self-improvement is most clearly promoted is our professional life. The logic is familiar: invest in yourself, acquire skills, develop expertise, and increase your value in the job market. The promise is more opportunities, better jobs, and higher income.

A very similar logic appears in Tango. Improve yourself. Learn more techniques, expand your vocabulary, refine your musicality, and you will attract better partners and have better dances.

At first glance, this makes sense.

But does self-improvement alone actually guarantee better dances?

The false promise

In the job market, skill development generally increases your capacity to produce quality work. I am a software developer. The better I understand my tools and concepts, the more reliably I can write clean, efficient code even under imperfect conditions.

Context matters, of course. Deadlines, pressure, meetings, and company culture all affect outcomes. But the quality of my contribution still largely depends on me.

Tango works differently.

In Tango, the quality of the dance is not produced by one person. It is co-created. The outcome depends directly on the capacities of two people interacting in real time.

If I develop a rich movement vocabulary but my partner has not, my expression is limited. If my musicality is refined but my partner does not recognise a phrase or a pause, that musical intention cannot fully materialise. The quality of the dance is shaped by both of us… not sequentially, but simultaneously.

You could argue that work is also affected by context, and that is true. But there is a crucial difference. In Tango, the limiting factor is not abstract structures, processes, or timelines. It is the human being in front of you… with flesh, balance, fear, confidence, and attention.

And this interaction happens in real time. There is no buffer. No delay. No system to absorb mistakes. Action and response unfold immediately, and both partners must adapt on the spot.

That makes the dependency deeper and unavoidable.

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Is improvement pointless then?

No… and yes.

Improvement is not pointless. It increases your skills and your potential.

But improvement of yourself alone is insufficient.

Imagine you had developed a perfect technique, perfect musicality, and perfect vocabulary. What would that mean if there were no partners capable of meeting you? What would all that improvement produce, other than… frustration?

And this brings us to the real question:

If Tango is danced with another person, and your improvement alone does not guarantee better outcomes on its own… what exactly is improvement for?

Before tonight’s Goodnight Tango… just a small thank-you.
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Tonight’s Goodnight Tango

Tonight’s Goodnight Tango leaves you with the same flavour as my last question… a dissonance between the promise of self-improvement and the reality we face.

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