Do you have plans?
“Do you have any plans when you go to a milonga?” …she asked me on our way back home.
“I found out that when I make plans… I don’t usually enjoy the milonga… so I try not to make plans and just let myself open to surprises.”… was my answer back then.
Sometimes we tend to make plans or create expectations in our heads when we go to a milonga or a marathon etc. For example, “I will dance with the X partner”… or “I will do the X new step I learned”… or even more specifically “I will dance a milonga tanda with partner X”. In some other cases, expectations are created by the environment… usually from friends who tell you… “You should dance with him or her, he/she is amazing!”… or “He/She has the perfect embrace/musicality/technique, etc.!”. My little experience shows that creating such expectations is a highway to disappointment especially if you become obsessed with them.
Usually, our expectations are much higher, dreamier, and ideal than the real world… and sadly we always dance in the real world. Maybe when you dance with the partner you were dreaming of dancing with he/she is absentminded… doesn’t like or know the music… is tired… or just feels uncomfortable in your embrace. In the real world… there will always be something to spoil the dream for you! That’s for sure!
So although sometimes I do make small plans when I go to a milonga, I always know in the back of my head that probably nothing from what I planned will happen. On the contrary, it is the things I have not planned that I will most probably remember…. like a new embrace… a tanda with a friend that somehow moved us both… an unexpected fun moment… etc. So although I sometimes make plans I don’t allow them to hold me back from the unforeseen… the unexpected. I think this is a good mentality for life in general… yes… make plans… have expectations… but be ready to abandon them in the first instance when an opportunity for a new adventure arises.
Tonight’s Goodnight Tango
Tango is full of songs for betrayal and unfulfilled expectations. Tonight’s Goodnight Tango combines the surprise of the man in the song who sees his first love after many years with disappointment and unfulfilled expectations because he sees her coming out of a brothel. You can even taste the bitterness in the way he sings.
So how about you? Do you make plans before going to a milonga? Do you have expectations? Does this affect how satisfied you are at the end of the event? Let me know with a comment below, an email, or a PM on Facebook… oh… and if you liked it… don’t forget to share it with your friends.
PS. Credits for the inspiration go to my dear friend Mila and one of her comments in a previous post.